Chances
by Awesomely Anonymous
Summary: A collection of one-shots based on how many times they could've gotten back together but ignored their chance. Follows canon, but is a little AU because of - well, you'll see. Jenny/Gibbs. Please leave a review! Fluff/Angst. Flangst.
1. Chapter 1

Her green eyes.

He knew those eyes. He had stared into them for the first time in this very building - and then again in Marseilles, Rome, Paris, Czech Republic and everywhere else that mission had taken them. He had stared into them so often that he now knew every emotion that crossed her face the moment her eyes conveyed it. He had stared into those eyes while they were laughing, smiling, crying, concerned, content, pained - and everything in between. But the last time he had looked into her eyes - he remembered clearly that they were troubled, and sad, and hesitant and confused, and he remembered it clearly, because he had pushed his thoughts away, thinking she would tell him what was bothering her when they got back to the States, together.

Problem was - they didn't come back together.

She had left. She had left him on the airplane, with a coat, a letter and his heart.

Now, they were face to face, staring at each other, taking in one another - everything that changed, and everything that stayed the same. She smiled, pausing for a moment to collect herself and said, in that alto, butterscotch voice he missed so much, "Hello, Jethro."

He blinked as the myriad of flashbacks hit him all at once, blurring into one picture - making passionate, passionate love with her everywhere around Europe; kissing her; touching her; loving her. He wanted to reach out, to hug her and hold her - but she was Director now. She needed respect, and he was more than willing to give it to her.

Her voice reached his ears again, interrupting his thoughts.

"Shall we skip the 'you haven't changed a bit' bull." she said, eyeing him curiously. He could tell she was trying to read him and understand what he was thinking.

"Why start lying to each other now, Jen?" he asked, stepping down the last few steps, intentionally coming closer to her.

A little smile graced her lips and he was suddenly hit with another memory, one where she smiled that very same, beautiful smile in Paris, when they first got there.

Their conversation stayed minimal, still under scutiny of Tom Morrow, and they played safe, until he gave her a knowing smile so reminiscient of Paris and said, "You were a good agent, Jen. Especially undercover."

She was caught of guard, he could tell. She took a moment to collect herself, smiling and swallowing, averting her gaze from his eyes to a spot behind him. He took a moment to just watch her, how her eyes seemed to be slightly lighter, how she looked a little tired and worn out. She looked down for a brief moment and he caught sight of the pins holding up her hair, wincing a bit - that had to hurt. In Paris, during missions where they had to be in formal clothing that required her to do her hair, she always made a fuss out of it, complaining that the pins were pinching her skull. He knew it probably hadn't changed. Jen was always a creature of habit.

"Jethro." she whispered, and his eyes focused on her face, memorising every inch of her features.

He smiled, a real, sincere Leroy Jethro Gibbs smile, and answered her, "Madame Director."

He watched as she rolled her eyes at him before getting serious again. He wondered, in the midst of everything, if he could ask her for a chance. Did she even want one?

She cleared her throat uncomfortably, and he snapped back to life, pretending he hadn't just looked her up and down like he wanted to see all of her again. His sharp blue eyes met her vivid green ones and she found herself looking deeply into them until Morrow stood suddenly and said to them, "Well, I guess I'll get going." He nodded to Gibbs, who returned it before he faced Jenny. "Good luck, Director. Especially with that one."

She smirked involuntarily, casting a sideways glance at her ex-lover before nodding to the older man.

"Thanks, Tom. Take care." she spoke softly, as if she was afraid someone was listening to them.

Tom Morrow disappeared out the door and into the elevator. Jenny turned back to Jethro, her eyes scrutinising him again.

She couldn't help but suddenly feel there was that same, haunting look in his eyes, the same one he'd had the last time she was there. Was it her? Or was it something else that made him look so broken?

"So... Jen, Ari..."

"Right," and without sparing another glance at him, she walked past him, talking fast "Jethro, you have no physical evidence linking Ari to the shootings. No wonder agencies her and abroad are having doubts."

"That bastard's already killed one of my people." His hard gaze bore into her eyes and she glared right back, reminding herself that she was the boss this time. "He's trying to kill more, and I'll tell you something else, Jen - no tight spinchter in a suit is getting in my way, and that includes you." he snapped, walking down the steps quickly.

"Agent Gibbs," she called, and he was suddenly aware that she wasn't right beside him. "On the job, it's either Director or Ma'am."

She kept her eyes steely, but she was worn and tired, and so drained of energy that when his eyes softened and bored playfully into hers she never really stood a chance. Hell, she never stood a chance when she was fully awake, either.

"Okay," he agreed, and Jenny felt herself almost giving out a sigh of relief before he added, "And what about off the job?"

Her mouth opened slightly, a retort stuck in her throat, suddenly aware of the people who were around. She swallowed, and composed herself - because she was going to lie, and he always knew when she was lying.

"There won't be any 'off the job', Agent Gibbs." she said calmly, forcing her to look into his eyes.

He blinked, seemingly realising what kind of situation he must'vee put her in, but he looked a bit sad, and more weary than usual - the corners of his eyes drooped, there seemed to be a permanent steel in his gaze and he looked down.

"Fair enough."

She looked at him, really looked at him - there wasn't a day in her life that she hadn't seen this man. She saw him every night, in her dreams, dreams that obviously never came true because in her own little world, they were together. And happy. Now, with him, she couldn't look at him without feeling the need to pore over every decision she'd made the past six years - even a decision she'd made just two days ago - to become Director - she started questioning when she saw him. In her dreams, they were smiling, laughing, kissing each other. In reality, they hadn't even had a proper conversation without provoking each other.

She knew, had a gut feeling, that maybe if her answer to his question had been different, maybe they'd be in a different place. Maybe they'd be smiling. Maybe they'd even be talking. Maybe they'd actually had the nerve to look at each other.

But she'd said what she'd said, and he's had his question answered, although it felt like the answer she gave was just... not the right one.

She ignored the voice at the back of her head telling her that she'd just blatantly ignored a second chance at being together.

* * *

 **Hey, readers! It's been a long time since I posted something new, so I decided to come up with this story. I'm thinking of making it a series of oneshots, so if you guys have an opinion on that, feel free to drop a review!**

 **Until next time,**

 **Natalia**


	2. Chapter 2

I am sorry for suddenly disappearing for so long, I haven't written anythings for so long so I'm trying to catch up on some of my older stuff to find my muse again. This is the second chapter of Chances, as requested by ya'll (thanks for the reviews, by the way, thanks so much for leaving such kind comments, they really make me happy whenever I read them)

I've got two more chapters for this that cover the season 3 moments (maybe I should add some in between? Tell me what you think!) the next chapter is after Jenny's kidnapping, and the fourth chapter is her finding out about Shannon and Kelly and Jethro leaving for Mexico (I'm trying to keep this as canon as possible) I'm not sure if ya'll will want more after this, though.

Again, thanks for the reviews and enjoy!

* * *

Two months into being Director, she realised there was no other way to shut Leroy Jethro Gibbs up more effectively than by using long, complicated words and synonyms to confuse him. And now that she knew this, she was careful not to exploit it too much, or she'd have to find another way.

But oh God, it was just so _tiring_ to hear him talk about why he was right and she was wrong. Not to mention the fact that she was pissed, since he _had_ disobeyed a direct order and undermined her authority in front of the Metro police.

It was irresistible.

"Semantics." She practically hissed the word.

"Is that like 'doppelganger'?" he asked, confused.

Her eyes narrowed into slits as she glanced at him with a look that clearly said 'I had no idea you were that dumb'.

"Get a dictionary!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes and stepping out of the elevator.

She turned into the carpark and pursed her lips when she realised Jethro was still following her. She stopped and turned around, glaring at him.

"I'm not in the mood for games, Jethro," she sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "What do you want?"

"You ever doubted McGee?" he asked bluntly.

"Is this what you're hung up on?" she asked in disbelief. It just seemed so – trivial and so insignificant.

She shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts.

"I never doubted Agent McGee – or you, for that matter."

"Then why'd you let Metro – "

"I know this is foreign to you, but there's a thing called inter-agency co-operation – "

"He was being treated like a criminal!" he almost shouted, glaring at her.

"Goddamn it Jethro, he was being treated like a _suspect_!" she shouted back, hardly believing that he was continuing this petty fight between them. "Which he _was,_ in case you haven't noticed. I know he didn't kill him, Jethro. But we are supposed to be cooperative when other agencies have lost one of their own in the hands of someone that could've been from our agency."

When he didn't say anything in return, she let out a frustrated sigh and said, "Jethro, you know I'm right. Why are you making it so difficult for me to do my job?"

He didn't answer again, instead he just stared at her.

"Are you – are you angry at me? I don't understand – it's like one minute you're fine and then the next you're just picking these petty fights between us – " she swallowed harshly. "You're not making any sense."

He mumbled something, but she couldn't hear him.

"Sorry, what did you say?" she asked, taking one step closer to him.

"Paris." He said, his voice hoarse. "Paris – earlier today, we talked about Paris."

God, she hoped this wasn't going where she thought it was.

"You said something about covering my ass, Jethro. I hardly call that actually talking." She said, giving him an out if he wanted it.

"Yeah, well – made me realise that I never actually… forgave you." He confessed, not meeting her eyes.

He had honestly thought that he had put everything behind him, but he couldn't help but notice every time their past was brought up, he immediately skipped all the wonderful parts of their relationship – and only thought about how it ended. How she ended it.

He hadn't read that letter in a while. He'd meant to burn it, but the letter – and the coat, and a photo of Jenny – those were the only things he had to remind him besides memories. He'd kept all three, hidden in a box in the basement.

"So... you _are_ angry at me." She said, pursing her lips.

She could feel the tears in her eyes blurring her vision steadily, and she let out a deep breath. She honestly had no idea what to say next, except for apologising, so that's what she did.

"I'm really sorry, Jethro." She said softly, her hands pressed together. "I really am, but I can't change what I did. I just… I wish there was a way you could forgive me."

She bowed her head, letting her tears fall. She reached out and touched his shoulder gently, giving him time to pull away from her touch. He didn't.

"I'm so sorry." She said again, and before a fresh flood of tears followed, she turned her back on him abruptly and got into her car, trying to control her sobs.

He watched her drive away, wanting to do something to stop her, but he found that he couldn't move a muscle. That one gentle touch on his shoulder had disarmed him, with her sorry eyes and her tears. He sighed and ran a hand down his face – that hadn't gone as planned.

He was supposed to say something else to her today – something he had known since she became Director.

But there was always tomorrow, he told himself, as he turned around and headed towards his car. And days, and months and years after that to tell her what he knew, and he smiled to himself – because now, when he thought about Paris, he was happy.

* * *

I wanted to write some more season 3 Jibbs moments but I feel that for this concept it'll be too draggy. What do ya think? I honestly don't think season 3 needs a lot of coverage, because all the good stuff is in seasons 4 and 5 (which I haven't started writing yet, oops) but if ya'll can convince me, I'll gladly write more for season 3.

Leave a review and tell me what you think! (and maybe I won't disappear for so long next time hehe :))

Have a great day!

Natalia


	3. Chapter 3

To commemorate the end of my national exams, I am posting this chapter a tad bit earlier than planned. Also, i've decided to keep the original layout of the story I planned beforehand, which means ya'll are gonna hate me in a few more chapters. hehe

I tried my best to keep it romantic but also sad for them, a little bittersweet taste never hurt nobody, right? Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"I really _am_ alright, Jethro." She assured, her sincere eyes boring into his. "I can take care of myself, I promise."

She took a sip of her drink, more to have something to do while she figured out what to say, because right now, she had no clue.

"I'll drive you home." He offered, his concerned gaze sweeping over her appearance.

He didn't like that she'd been tied especially tight because the rope burns were so deep he was afraid it wasn't ever going to heal – and the look in her eyes when he got out of the car was of fear, of dread, and grief, and guilt and every negative emotion he'd ever seen in her. She didn't talk at all on the way back to NCIS, taking to staring out solemnly at the window, a pained look in her eyes. She'd been kidnapped before, he knew – she'd been tortured, shot, and everything in between.

He knew Jenny; she wasn't worried about herself.

"Jen, I'll call Stanley's family – you don't have to worry about that." He said softly.

"How – "

"You've been with me since the airport, and I haven't seen your phone out yet." He interrupted. "Jenny, just let me handle things for a while. You've had a rough day – you should get some rest."

For a moment, she looked like she was about to refuse, until he shot her a look and she shrugged, pushing herself off the Autopsy table.

He stood too, protectively placing a hand on the small of her back, leading her to the elevator. No words were spoken between them – it was always like this after a traumatising experience. No one ever got used to the challenges of being a federal agent, or the risks that came along with it. They dealt with it by sensing each other's emotions, and somehow they always managed to read each other.

The car ride home was silent, neither knowing what to talk about. There was so much left unsaid between them that neither knew how to open up that conversation and start the ball rolling. So many things could have happened today – things could've turned out so different, but she was still here, and still he stayed silent.

When the car pulled up at her driveway, she thought she should say something, but he cleared his throat and said quietly, "I'll walk you to your door,"

He opened the car door for her like a gentleman and led her out, and they walked together, in silence once more. Her arms swung a bit, she had never felt awkward with Jethro before like this – like it was right now, walking next to each other and trying to find something right to say to him – there was no other word to describe it.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked at him, once they reached her door, wondering if he wanted to say something instead. When he just waited patiently for her, she swallowed and opened her mouth.

"Er – I'd invite you inside, but –"

"I'd decline," he said politely.

She nodded.

"Of course…" she sighed, looking down at the pebbled pathway before casting her eyes up at his again. "You know… Paris… seems like a really long time ago."

"It was," he said softly.

"I miss it." She said truthfully, deciding she might as well go on with it. "But, I also regret it."

His eyes flashed with something – hurt? – before it became neutral again, and the blue of his eyes found the green of hers.

"You do?" he asked, and she nodded again. "Seemed to me like we were both having the time of our lives there."

"Oh no… I don't regret that it happened. At all." She said, feeling happy that they could at least carry on a proper conversation without fighting or breaking down. "I'm actually really thankful that it happened."

The corners of her lips turned upwards and she licked her lips. She could see the fond memories replaying themselves beneath Jethro's eyes.

"I just regret that it ended the way it did," she said, suddenly very quiet. She felt Jethro tense beside her, and she pursed her lips, afraid she said something wrong, but Jethro's eyes found hers, and he seemed to smile sadly, a bittersweet tone to his voice as he replied.

"Me too," he said sadly.

"And I'd do it all again even if it meant that I – "

"Me too." He said again, and the look in his eyes was so full of heartbreak and sorrow that she did a double take.

Maybe it wasn't ever over for him too?

"Goodnight, Jen." He whispered, leaning in close to her ear.

He breathed against her ear and saw the goose bumps erupt on her skin, slowly pulling away and leaning in to kiss her cheeks. His warm lips pressed against her cold cheeks in the midnight air, and she sighed, feeling like she just melted into a puddle. He pulled away slowly, smiling warmly at her. He turned and walked towards his car, away from her.

"Goodnight, Jethro."

He turned and saluted to her.

They were finally on the right track again.

* * *

Hope ya'll like it! Oh yeah, and before I forget, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I love reading your comments, even if its criticism, so please don't hesitate to leave a review and tell me what you think!

Have a nice day,

Natalia


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So this chapter is set during Hiatus, before Gibbs leaves for Mexico.

* * *

"I'll leave you to it, Director," said Ducky briskly, walking over to the door and tipping his head in her direction.

She didn't answer. Still clutching the thick, brown file that had the label 'PERSONNEL FILE: SPECIAL AGENT LEROY JETHRO GIBBS' printed in thick, bolded letters on the cover. She was still in shock at what she had just discovered.

She had never felt so heartbroken before. Not even Paris compared to how she was feeling now. A wife… and a _child,_ taken from him far too soon – and in such a _brutal_ way – _how_ he had gotten through it, she would never know – and she didn't want to find out, either. She had always wondered what made him so guarded around her when they were together. She had always thought about the reason why it took him so long to trust and confide in her the simplest things about his life – she had always thought it was just an ex-wife that he had actually loved, or some girl that he had met a while ago – but he had a _family._

And they were _gone._

Sniffing slightly, she slipped a picture out of the file and stared at it. Shannon was beautiful – red hair, brown eyes that seemed to stare straight at her soul. Kelly was the perfect mix of Jethro and Shannon, having inherited the best parts of her parents and, Jenny was sure, the best traits of them, too.

She slipped the photograph back inside the file and closed it. She could not bear to look at it anymore. She wanted to look at Jethro, tell him she knew, tell him that she understood everything, understood _him._

But he wouldn't be able to remember me, she reminded herself. Ducky had said he couldn't remember anything that happened for the past 15 years, and if he couldn't remember Ducky, a man he had known for more than 12 years, he certainly wouldn't be able to remember someone he had met 8 years ago.

She sighed softly. She wanted to see him more than anything, but steeled herself – there was still work to be done, after all.

~NCIS~JIBBS~NCIS~JIBBS

She couldn't believe what he was asking her to do.

"You're – you're _quitting_?" she asked, hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth. "You expect me to sign your resignation letter – which by the way, is literally only two lines long – to be accounting for almost 15 years of your service to NCIS."

She glanced down at the piece of paper he had handed her, which was, sure enough, only two lines long. He had written his resignation letter in scrawly handwriting, as if he had written it while drunk.

'I hereby resign as Team Leader and Special Agent of NCIS.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs.'

"I'm _retiring_." He corrected, shrugging at the letter. "Besides, Tony is more than ready to replace me – and you've signed resignation letters of other agents, why not mine?"

"Because NCIS is your life!" said Jenny, hardly believing this was happening. "Because Abby and Ducky and Tim and Ziva and Tony and even Jimmy is your family, always have been – they'll be heartbroken. You can't leave them, Jethro."

"I can't stay, Jen, you know I can't." he said. "There's too much I haven't – "

"You can't leave _me_ , Jethro." She said quietly, cutting him off. "When I've only _just_ got you back."

She stared at him, her emerald green eyes shining with tears. He stared back at her, his mouth open in shock. He seemed to collect himself after a few moments though, and he closed his mouth firmly, looking at her in an apologetic way. She caught this look, and her heart broke twice in just two days.

"I'm – I'm sorry, Jen." He said softly. "I'm – you're – I'm not – it's too fresh in my mind, Jen. I can't – _give_ you what you need from me just yet. You need someone who'll love you – just you, and to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready to do that."

She wiped her tears away before they could escape her eyes, but that just caused more tears to well up. She closed her eyes for a few moments and looked up at the ceiling, breathing deeply.

"I'm really sorry, Jen." He repeated. "Maybe, you know, if you waited a little while – we could – you know."

"Where will you be going?" she asked softly, thankful that she didn't sound shaky.

"I thought I'd follow Mike back to Mexico." He said, gazing at her intently.

She nodded, wiping her tears again and folding her arms.

"When will you be back?" she asked.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully, almost apologetically. He realised that he was raising her hopes up when he told her to wait for him, but shooting it down again when he answered this question. He didn't want her to miss out on other opportunities for her happiness just because he _might_ return for her.

"Listen," he said, "You don't have to – "

"I'll wait for you." She said firmly. "For as long as it takes."

She didn't look at him. She walked round the table and sat on her desk, as if he had just been dismissed. He was smiling softly at her, tilting his head a bit as if he had just saw a different side of her. Then, he bent down, grasped the back of her head firmly and pressed his lips to her forehead softly.

Before the door fully closed behind him, he saw her touching her forehead, smiling softly.

* * *

I wrote this a while back, before my examinations and I thought I'd post it before I forgot. I've written more chapters and will be posting but honestly I don't have a schedule and I don't know when I'll be updating next. I hope you guys like this chapter. Writing this story is giving me bittersweet Jibbs feels and let me just warn you that bittersweet is what you're gonna be feeling throughout the next few chapters because I'm following canon, which means Hollis Mann will be making an appearance (quite a few appearances, honestly). Please don't be mad :)

Don't forget to leave a review and have a great day!

\- Natalia


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Hello my friends! I promise I'm not dead! Just very bad at updating my stories. Enjoy this one!_

* * *

She honestly didn't think it'd take this long for him to come back.

It had been four excruciating months of waiting – and now he was back, and he was here to stay. Neither of them had actually talked since he'd made his official return to the agency, but they both knew it was only a matter of time until they'd skirt the topic of what had happened the last time they had seen each other before he left for Mexico.

 _He walked up to her desk and bent down, placing his hand behind her neck and gently pushing her head forward. His lips met her forehead for just a second before he let go, leaving her there, her face red as her hair, and a small smile playing on her lips as she touched a finger to the place he had kissed her._

Alas, four months after he had returned, and they still hadn't even said a word to each other outside the office. Sure, they acted cordially in front of other people – she still shouted at him when he was being pig-headed and he still undermined her authority, but other than that, they hadn't really acknowledged each other.

"Colonel Mann seems nice," she commented casually, as they were leaning on the railway of the catwalk overlooking the bullpen. "She any good?"

He gave her a look.

"You know what I mean."

He shrugged, turning his head again to look down at his team. His eyes flickered suddenly to Colonel Mann, who was bending over at McGee's table to read something on his computer with him.

"I'll let you know." He said, as Tony called him to report their new findings.

Jenny was worried to see a small smile playing on his face.

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

 _Please, dear God, help me now,_ was exactly what she was thinking when she found out that Army CID was working with NCIS again – and, even worse, that Colonel Mann was working with Gibbs again.

It wasn't that she didn't like Mann as a person – actually, had they been introduced before, Jenny was sure they would've been friends, maybe even close friends – but the fact that she was in _her_ office, with Leroy Jethro Gibbs, casting flirtatious glances at each other _in front of her,_ finishing each other's sentences, throwing double innuendos into the conversation as casually as possible –

And the worst part? _Gibbs was responding to her._

She reminded herself that she was the Director now, not Jenny, and she had to act the part, no matter how much she wanted to suspend _both_ of them for inappropriate behaviour, and they had a lethal bomber to catch. Trying her best to listen to the conversation while ignoring the sneaky little glances and double meanings to their sentences, she issued her orders as quickly as possible, dismissing them as carelessly as possible while pretending to look busy.

Once they had left the office, Jenny felt like she could finally breathe again. Releasing her hair from the tight bun she'd tied it in, she let all the tangles run free while she gripped it hard and tried to make sense of everything.

Had it all been just a lie? Hadn't she said that she'd wait for him? But maybe that's what he meant – wait for him, while he picked up other women and flaunted his attraction in front of her face, _in her office_ , her sanctuary, her safe place, her second _home_ –

She felt her breathing become heavier, and slowed down a little. She glanced at the cup of coffee Gibbs had gotten for her earlier in the morning and threw it in the trash, in a rage, completely full. Instead, she took a healthy gulp of water, looking longingly at the liquor cabinet. Sighing slightly, she removed her glasses and smoothed down her hair as much as possible. She had a meeting in MTAC in ten minutes, and she needed to prepare for it.

Deciding to just prepare in MTAC with the technical assistants, she grabbed her file and placed her glasses in her pocket. She left her office and told Cynthia where she was headed, but when she opened the door that led to the catwalk, she regretted her decision instantly.

At the staircase, Mann and Gibbs were engaged in a serious discussion. Suddenly, Mann turned and continued down the steps by herself, casting a look behind her shoulder at Gibbs. Gibbs looked at Mann, then turned to look at Jenny, who met his eyes for a second then turned away. She didn't want to be distracted at a meeting. She needed to do her job, and she needed to turn off her heart and turn on her head. Pushing her long hair behind her shoulder, she bent down at the eye scanner. When she turned to close the door behind her, she saw that Gibbs was still looking at her, this time with a little worry in his deep blue eyes.

She knew that if she wanted to avoid him, she'd have to stay in MTAC all day.

* * *

Thanks to all those who left reviews on the last chapter! I'm so glad you guys liked it :) I hope you guys liked this one as well! (Probably not because of a certain someone, but oh wellz) I've written till chapter nine for this one so yayyyy! Hopefully I won't be so suckish at updating this like I am with my other story (which I promise I haven't abandoned). Anyway, please tell me what you thought about this chapter!

Til the next time,

Natalia


	6. Chapter 6

"Is there something wrong Jen?" was the first thing she had heard since coming into her office, a week after Sharif had been caught.

Sleep-deprived and annoyed, she took off her glasses slowly and closed the file she was trying to read. Looking up, she saw one Leroy Jethro Gibbs standing in front of her expectantly, an eyebrow cocked and waiting patiently for her answer.

"Excuse me?" she asked, blinking blearily – there couldn't have been a worse time for him to barge in and start provoking her. She was tired, sleepy and annoyed, she'd just left a meeting at the Hill and she was facing another joint operation between the FBI and Homeland Security that she needed to oversee in less than fourteen hours.

Needless to say, she wasn't in the mood to handle him.

"Is there a reason why you've been acting like a stone cold bitch?" he said, even more harshly this time.

"Excuse me?" she repeated, even more slowly, perking up at his tone.

His eyes pierced hers, fiercer than she had ever seen them, and she saw that he was genuinely angry with her.

"Usually, when I act like a stone cold bitch, Special Agent Gibbs, I do that with a reason and this week, I've – "

"No," he interrupted, and his eyes narrowed slightly. "To me. Is there a reason why you've been acting like a stone cold bitch to me, Director?"

She rolled her eyes. It was gonna be one of those fights, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet.

"Considering the fact that you're the most problematic thing in this agency, I'd think it'd give me plenty incentive to act like a stone cold bitch towards you, thanks." She snapped. She stood up and put her palms on the table, leaning towards him. "Just in case you haven't noticed, I haven't been home in four days, which means I haven't slept in a bed in four days, which also means that I'm irritated enough without your bullshit to add onto my overflowing plate, Jethro. Don't come barging in my office, with that tone and your fucking righteous attitude because guess what – newsflash! – the world doesn't revolve around you. I'm sick and tired of cleaning up your messes and dealing with your cocky and disrespectful attitude. I'm the goddamn Director, Gibbs – I'm not your Probie, I'm not even your partner, so start treating me like I've treated you every single goddamn day since we've met – with respect." She spat.

Her jaw tightened and her fist clenched until her knuckles were white and she silently hoped that Cynthia had had the sense to postpone the meetings she'd have this afternoon because right now she was so angry with the bastard that she wanted to punch a hole through the wall. She rarely cursed in the workplace – she liked to keep things as professional as possible, but this man was impossible. How dare he?

She was satisfied to see that his anger hadn't subsided, she was ready for this pissing match. She wanted to see him rot. He recovered surprisingly quickly from his shock at her words, and this time, when his eyes met hers, she could see that her words had just added fuel to the icy fire in his eyes.

"No."

She raised her eyebrows. Was that really all he had to say?

"No." he repeated. "You're not angry with me about that – you're angry with me about something else. This is personal. Director, or you wouldn't have made the mistake of cussing in the workplace."

Damn, he was good.

Admittedly, she was angry with him with something else entirely – but she was still sick and tired of everything she'd had to deal with and she desperately needed some sleep.

"You're angry – because I chose Hollis over you." He said.

She scoffed.

"I'm sorry," she said mockingly, "I didn't realise we were competing. I didn't even realise that there was a competition. I don't need to compete for your affections, Jethro, nor do I want to do it."

She paused, but before he could say anything else, she continued again.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jethro, I can't believe that, perceptive as you are, you still can't see what the hell my problem is with you. Have you forgotten? Were you even listening the last time we were alone together? Did you forget what the hell you said and the promise I made to you? Why couldn't you just tell me to stop? Leading me on, making me wait for you and getting my hopes up, when in the end, you wanted someone else. You made me a fool, you bastard. A hopeful, wide-eyed fool who waited and waited and waited on someone that felt less than an iota of what I fucking felt. You're a bastard and God how I wish we never fucked in the first place because of all the shit it landed me in."

She grabbed her glasses, her bag and her phone and slammed the door behind her. This was the first time she'd take a sick day, anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

There was a knock on the door. Without answering, she shouted from the hall. "Go away! I don't want to see you!"

"Er – it's Melvin, Director." An unsure voice came from the other side of the door. "There's a delivery for you. I signed off on it."

"Oh." She said, and she opened the door to see Melvin holding up a bouquet of bright purple orchids. The card contained a single line – a scrawly signature that she recognised at once.

"Trash 'em." She said nonchalantly. Flowers were not going to butter her up.

"Um… are you sure, ma'am?" asked Melvin. "These flowers must have cost a fortune."

"You keep them, then." Said Jenny. "Give them to your daughters or something. I don't want it."

"Thank you, ma'am."

She nodded at him and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door and covered her face with her hands, sighing deeply. She wanted to catch up on some sleep, but she couldn't seem to actually fall asleep. When she removed her hands from her face, however, she almost died of shock.

"Jesus fucking Christ –" she cussed again, and she was angry to see that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was standing in the hallway with a smile on his face that grew wider once he saw her reaction.

"Don't kick me out." He began. "I'm here to apologise."

"Doesn't work that way." She glared at him.

She still felt stupid every time she thought about it. She wanted to stay angry at him, and she wanted a reason to lash out at him.

"Mike told me to come back." He said, "Seemed to think I had some unresolved issues about ya."

"Don't." she warned. "Don't get my hopes up again."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to, Jen." He said sincerely. "But I really like – "

"Yeah, I know." She said. She sighed, and she forced a smile on her face. "And I'm happy for you. I'm still angry, though. And I'm not sure how long I'll stay this way, so stay clear."

"I'll wait. S'long as it takes." He said, tilting his head at her.

He wanted them to be friends, but he wasn't sure if that was too much for her to handle.

A real smile graced her lips and she stared at him. A moment passed, then she opened the door.

"Close the door behind you." She said, walking past him and back into the study.

She sat back down on the chair in her study. How could she not have seen this coming? Leroy Jethro Gibbs was the most fickle person she'd ever met. Of course he'd never have taken that promise seriously. She felt as though she'd had something that was finally going to bring her joy in her life, and by some cruel twist of fate, she'd lost it.

Jennifer Shepard went to bed that day with the feeling that no matter how many chances she got with Leroy Jethro Gibbs, nothing was ever going to work out.


	8. Chapter 8

Jethro was having lunch in the bullpen with Hollis for the third time this week. He knew that Jenny didn't like watching them all the time, and he was trying to limit the amount of affection they displayed for each other in public, but Hollis was making it hard for him, showing up unexpectedly with takeout and leaning in for kisses all the time. He tried to distract her with something else, like a case – but Hollis wasn't the type to talk about work for long.

He was thankful that Jenny was in her office this time, because she'd already bumped into them having lunch four out of the five days of the week that had passed. They ate their burgers in a comfortable silence, enjoying their food when they heard someone clear their throat.

They whirled around and saw a redheaded woman who resembled Jenny – there was an incredible likeness among them. She was dressed very stylishly, with a figure hugging black dress that reached her knees, a white blazer on top and a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant. Her look was completed with a pair of red stilettos Jethro swore had been taken from Jenny's closet, and sunglasses that were perched on top of her head. Her wavy, auburn hair reached her hips and Jethro noticed that it shined exactly like Jenny's did.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said, noticing the burgers in their hands, "but I have a meeting with the Director. Do you know where to find her?"

"Um… yeah, sure." Said Gibbs, and he put down his burger. "Up the stairs, right, through the door and ask for Director Shepard."

"Thank you." She said, smiling slightly at both of them. "Have a nice day."

The couple watched as the mysterious woman followed the directions given to her and disappeared as the door closed behind her.

"She looked just like Director Shepard." Said Hollis, still staring at the door which the woman went through. "They could be twins! I didn't know she had a sister, or any family, for that matter."

"Neither did I." said Gibbs, wondering how Jenny had failed to mention that specific detail about her life.

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

"You're here!" exclaimed Jenny in delight and going in to hug her sister. "I missed you, Heather."

"I missed you too, Little Jay." said the redheaded woman, reciprocating the hug wholeheartedly. "We need to visit each other more often."

"Agreed. Right, let me just do one more thing before I leave." Said Jenny, taking out a tube of red lipstick and applying it to her lips expertly. "Here – yours is fading. Long flight?"

"You have no idea." Heather said, taking the tube and reapplying her lipstick. "Honestly, I appreciate the first class ticket, sis, but next time I think I'll take a cruise back here from London."

Jenny laughed and grabbed her purse. Heather grabbed a pair of sunglasses sitting by the desk and handed them to her sister, who sighed.

"Do we really have to do this every time we go out together?"

"You're a Shepard, Jay – look like one." Said Heather, indicating her own hairstyle.

Jenny pulled the hair tie off her ponytail and let her auburn tresses hang freely. She perched the sunglasses on the top of her head, just like her sister and ran a hand through her hair to comb out the tangles before pulling all of it over one shoulder. Heather watched, satisfied. Then, she linked her arm with Jenny's and they walked out together, chatting happily after not meeting in almost four years.

This little scene did not go unnoticed by Gibbs, who watched curiously from the bullpen as the two redheads disappeared into the lift.

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

"Don't make me," laughed Jenny, "Please, I haven't done this in so long, I don't want to."

"The song's starting, Little J." said Heather, laughing even harder. "Come on, don't disappoint."

They were back in their childhood home together, for the first time in almost a decade. Heather's response was to immediately bring out the old karaoke machine they'd had and turn it on to sing their all-time favourite song – Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon.

They were just starting to get drunk and have fun. Jenny hadn't felt this free in such a long time. She was with someone she loved and missed, and she didn't want to waste that. So she took the microphone from her sister and started to sing properly for the first time since she became Director.

"Wowza!" exclaimed Heather, who was almost definitely drunk, or at least extremely tipsy. "You still got it, Little Jay."

She'd gone through about half of the song and the second chorus was just beginning when the doorbell rang.

"Alright, gotta get that. Cover for me." Said Jenny, throwing the mic to Heather, who caught by the tips of her fingers and began to sing loudly.

Jenny half-walked, half-laughed her way to the front door, silently thanking the heavens that Heather was here, because she wasn't sure that she'd be able to handle things without her. Heather was her one source of happiness these days, and she found herself craving the company of her big sister more and more since the Jethro incident.

She smiled, the biggest smile in the world as she opened the door…

And found that Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the source of her misery, was standing at her porch.

"Ew." She said when she saw him, which made him smile, slightly amused. "Why're you here, Jethro?"

"Came to meet your sister," he said.

"Jenny, who is it?" said Heather, who didn't sound quite as tipsy as she did a second before.

Heather appeared beside Jenny and saw the bottle of wine that Jethro was holding. He saw her looking at the wine and offered it to her.

"Brought it for you." He said. "I'm Jethro Gibbs."

"Right. Thanks." Said Heather, no longer slurring her words. "Heather Shepard. Don't make him wait at the front door, Jay, invite him in."

"Since you're already doing it…" Jenny's voice trailed away. She didn't want this to happen – not _now,_ when she finally having some fun after God knows how long.

"Strange that Jenny never mentioned she had a sister before." Said Gibbs casually to Heather. "We've known each other for almost nine years and she hasn't told me a thing about her family."

"Nine years?" said Heather, and realisation dawned on her. "Hey, you're the guy that Jay – "

"He isn't." said Jenny coldly from the doorway of the living room. "Not anymore."

She turned to leave. The silence was killing her, but she couldn't stand to hear the words come out of Heather's mouth.

"Maybe it's a bad idea to be here," said Gibbs suddenly.

"Don't leave yet. I have something to say to you." Said Heather, and suddenly she wasn't drunk at all. "No matter what Jenny says, I know for a fact that she still has some feelings left for you, and it's been eating at her heart alive. She's spiralling, Gibbs. I need to know that she's safe when she's with you. I need to know that you'll protect her."

"Protect her from what?"

"Herself." Said Heather. "She's going through a lot, and with the added stress of – well, you know, you and Hollis – she's been calling me a lot and I can't stand to see her like this, Gibbs. You need to help her."

"She can take care of herself." Said Gibbs.

"This is different." Sighed Heather. "I – I think she's in depression, Gibbs. Her mental state, and her need to govern a federal agency isn't an ideal situation. Please, don't make me beg."

Gibbs was torn between helping Jenny and giving her space – he wanted her to be okay, but what if she wasn't? But even so, if he'd helped, she would just push him further away, and he would lose her friendship, too.

"I can't." he said firmly. "I can't meddle in her private business. I'll just hurt her even more."

He left, but oh, how he wished he hadn't.


	9. Chapter 9

Heather was right. Jenny was spiralling, and she was spiralling hard. She was going crazy obsessed with catching this La Grenouille guy and it was clouding her judgment and her morals. Jethro knew that, if Jenny was thinking straight, she would've never let the Jeanne Benoit situation go out of hand.

Her mental state was further weakened by the death of three of her agents in just a mere three days span. She hated doing calls to families for this reason – she hated this part of the job, she hated listening to the shock and the horror in the families' voices when they'd received the news, and she knew that no matter how much she told them that they were honourable, noble agents, it would never be enough. No amount of compliments would bring back their loved one from the dead.

And, like adding salt to a fresh wound, she had accidentally found out that Gibbs was finally committing to Hollis, who Jenny had heard talking on the phone to one of her girlfriends and telling her how he had planned to stay by fixing her pipes for her. After leaving the bathroom, she had looked so faint that Cynthia was alarmed, but after a few more moments, Jenny had appeared again, looking perfectly fine.

If that wasn't enough, her La Grenouille thing was going out of control. The entire team had just witnessed Tony's car blown up on screen with him still inside it, and Jenny was looking so faint that her eyes slid out of focus for a while before she stumble backwards into a chair. Only Ziva and Gibbs had noticed her – and even though there was still some ill feelings from Ziva towards the redheaded woman, Ziva could not help but be reminded of all the times Jenny had saved both their asses from kidnappers, bombers and shooters.

So she still approached the woman, who was clutching at her chest, as if she wanted to rip her heart out. Jenny was even paler than usual and her breathing had become heavy and rapid, as if she was drowning in the air.

"Jenny!" cried Ziva in alarm as the older woman tried to regain control again. "Gibbs – Ducky – I - what's wrong? I can't – she can't breathe, help her!"

"Go downstairs and fetch my kit, McGee." Said Ducky at once, as he knelt down beside Jenny.

Gibbs and Ziva were both watching anxiously as McGee did as he was told at once – Tony may have perished but there was no reason for them to lose yet another member of their team today.

"Jenny, look at me." Said the doctor in the most calming voice he could muster. "Close your eyes and try to breathe slower. It's all in your head, dear. You still have us – you musn't forget your family, Jennifer."

"I… have…no…family." Jenny heaved, tears stinging her eyes. "No…one."

"You have us, dear." Said Ducky. He forced her to let go of her chest and gripped her hand tightly in his. "You still have us."

The last thing she saw was both Ziva and Gibbs trying desperately to clutch her other hand before she blacked out.

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

"… Stress, fatigue, anaemia, low blood pressure, underweight, Cynthia told me she's been skipping lunches and going into MTAC for the past four months, Jethro. Did you know about this?" demanded Ducky.

Jenny began to stir and saw that she was in her office, with an ice pack on her forehead. She made to remove it when a voice cut in:

"Don't touch it, you have a burning fever." Said Ducky without looking at her. The old man's glare was focused upon Gibbs. "You haven't answered my question, Jethro. Did you or did you not know about Jenny's condition?"

"I knew." Gibbs admitted silently. "I've known for a long time now."

"If you're gonna talk about me as if I'm not here, then can you both please get out." Said Jenny, who felt pain in every part of her body. "I can't rest while you two are arguing."

" _Someone_ needs to look after you." Said Ducky, as his glare became more pronounced than ever. "Certainly not Jethro. I forbid any contact between you two."

The protest was immediate.

"Duck, you can't do that, you're not our father – "

"Ducky, please – "

"Enough. That is final. Whatever you two have been developing these past months – if anything _has_ been developing besides animosity – it is finished. Now. Jenny needs real support and you're not giving it to her, so I'll find someone who cares. In the meantime, _I_ will be taking care of you."

"You won't be able to find someone who cares about Jenny more than I do." Said Gibbs confidently.

"You're out of luck, Jethro." Said Ducky dismissively. "I've already contacted someone and they're on the way here. I suggest you leave before they get here, because I promise you that they'll want to ask questions you wouldn't know how to answer."

"Who have you called?" asked Gibbs frowning.

"Heather Shepard."

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

"I could squeeze the life out of you _right now_ without flinching." Fumed Heather.

They had bumped into each other outside NCIS, and Heather had made a beeline to him and Hollis. But right now, her focus was only on Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Didn't I tell you?" she screamed, furious. "Didn't I _warn_ you, Gibbs? And you chose to walk away, take the easy way out – you are not at _all_ what I thought you were, you are not the man she spent hours and hours talking about, you're a coward, and I hope you can finally relax now that Jenny's out of your fucking way."

"Heather – Heather, please." He had never been caught off guard before, but he knew he deserved it. "Please, don't. You could lose your job over this – "

"Jenny was right." Heather cut him off, jabbing a finger at his chest. "To choose her job over your ass. I hope she never forgives you for this."

She stalked off before he could even open his mouth to reply, leaving Jethro wondering how he could have ever doubted Heather's intuition.

~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~NCISJIBBS~

"Don't." was all she said when he came to visit her, a week after Ducky had given her the all clear.

He sat down silently by her bed.

"I'm clinically depressed, Jethro." She said. "I didn't think life could get any worse than, well…"

She trailed off. He wondered what she was going to say.

"I don't want to see you." She said. "Ever. I – I can't handle it. I thought I could, but I can't. I've never felt so alone in my entire life, Jethro. All because of one dumb mistake I made eight years ago, this is all I have now."

He didn't say anything.

"I don't want you to stay if all you're ever going to do is leave." She said, and their eyes met for the first time in a long time. "Don't."

"Not goin'." he said simply, as he remained in his seat. "I'm sorry. I know I should've helped you, but a part of me sincerely thought you were okay… I had no idea you were this hurt, Jen. I've failed you as a friend, and I want to make it up to you."

As a friend. Jenny sighed. Time was running out, but she didn't want to say anything yet.

When will they learn?


End file.
